Haitians Vow Revenge for Earthquake

In a press conference in Port au Prince Haitian Minister of Defense Lucien Loupgarou said that his country's armed forces were prepared to retaliate against those responsible for the earthquake that wrecked much of the Haitian capital earlier this month.
"We will find those who were behind this disaster and strike them as well as any countries who are harboring or supporting those responsible for this terrible tragedy."
Experts speculate that the Haitians will launch some sort of attack on areas of seismic activity on the island of Montserrat, but Haitian Neoconservative advisors Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz have been heard repeatedly making reference to a "fault line of evil" between Syria and Oklahoma that "will require a long-term Haitian commitment to pre-emptive invasion and restructuring."
So far, Haitian tempers seem to have been mitigated by their concentration on relief and recovery as well as their meagre retaliatory resources, but Haitian hawks are increasingly banging metaphorical kettle drums of revenge as they ask "how long can we let those responsible for this earthquake go unpunished?"