Iraqi Truce Eyed Warily in Light of WGA Strike

Leaders of the Sadr movement in Iraq and their Mahdi Army allies are reported to be reconsidering their cease-fire in light of the recent developments in the Writer's Guild Strike. Spokescleric Kazim al-Ghazi has been quoted as saying: "I don't see why we can't get a percentage of DVD sales and internet revenue, too. What are we, a bunch of Okies?"
Although it remains unclear just what DVD's or internet content is being talked about Sunni militias and CLC's [Concerned Local Citizens) have also grown restless. Several protesters in Ramadi could be seen waving signs that read "Hollywood Must Pay!" and "Producers are Greedier than Saddam ever was!"
Hollywood producers were unavailable for comment but they are clearly rattled by the implications. "We may just have to cut a deal," said one producer's minion who preferred to remain anonymous. "These people mean business. I don't know what they want, but they'll probably get it."
Spokespersons for coalition forces in Iraq refused to comment on the record, but indicated that if Hollywood producers caved to the demands of the Shia and Sunni then they would expect to go on strike next. "What are we, a bunch of Okies?" said one officer. "We're as good as the writers, directors, actors and militias."

Kosovo Declares Independence, Dude Abides

As most Kosovars celebrated the dual announcement of the end of the WGA Writer's Strike and the declaration of Kosovo's independence, Serbians gathered in Belgrade today to fume and vent their anger toward the "Balkan-hating Okies" who they claim have taken away their prized province. Crowds in Belgrade chanted slogans such as "Okies go home!" and "Where's my freakin' pizza?" while demonstrators held up signs reading "Homeless Veteran, Plez help, God Bless" and "Why lie? I need a beer."
While Serbian Prime Minister Kostunica belligerently declared Okies and members of the WGA unwelcome in Belgrade, Serbian President Boris Tadic merely shook his head sadly and said "That province really held the room together."
Kosovo's new goverment responded immediately, issuing a statement that denied ever peeing on the province and stating definitively that Kosovo "is bonafide."
The entire country of Montenegro was unavailable for comment, as usual.