Sunday, October 25, 2009

'Cats' Composer's Tumor to Pen New Musical

In an almost stunning announcement today, Andrew Lloyd-Webber's newly discovered prostate cancer said that it would begin working on a musical based on the life of aviator Charles Lindbergh. The allegedly malignant tumor who insists that it is benign, reportedly said it was "sick and tired of Andy's bullcrap music" and that it could put together a better book and lyrics "even while being pelted with gamma radiation."
Lloyd-Webber, who recently announced an upcoming sequel to The Phantom of the Opera, entitled The Ghoul of the Moulin de la Galette, was unavailable for comment but a spokesperson for Lloyd-Webber could not keep a straight face while attempting to read a press release about the new musical and when asked about the tumor's boast about being able to "out-write that nitwit with one prostate tied behind my back and no thumbs" the spokesperson, still wheezing from uncontrollable chortling, merely nodded aggressively and mouthed the word "probably."

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