American Graffiti Prequel Announced

In an unsurprising move, filmmaker George Lucas (who, incidentally, denies being the notorious Nazi Death camp guard Ruslan Lemyanuk, aka "Ruslan the Blood-drinker") has announced that principle pondering about the script has begun on a new film project that will be intended as a prequel to his hit 1973 film American Graffiti. The film, American Clean Wall, will be a coming of age story about a group of 5 year olds spending one last nap-time together before they go their separate ways in First Grade. The project was initially titled American Blank Wall, but Mr. Lucas changed the title when 5 year old Charlie Johnson of Narbonne, France, wrote him, saying "'Blank Wall' implies a form of emptiness and an unfinished quality, but a clean wall would connote innocence and purity."
The film is expected to feature a bunch of 5 year old kids of variable acting ability ranging from actually good to dumber than a bag of headless hammers and several older actors of similar capabilities as their parents and teachers and other adults including a couple of actors who, no doubt, will be entrusted with larger roles despite their incredible inability to simulate any kind of life-forms with any degree of verisimilitude. The half-witted and severely noxious script will be composed by a tank full of dolphins bumping their noses against buttons on the side of their enclosure and will be subsequently dumbed down and made "nicer" by legendary screenwriting guru Robert McKee (who denies being the notorious war criminal Ruslan Lemyanuk, aka "Ruslan the Blood-drinker") with additional dialogue by a hamster and his three guinea pig friends as well as the five year old child whose pets they are.
Critics are already hailing the unwritten and unfilmed project as "A masterpiece!" "The feel good film of the year, whichever year it finally comes out!" and "Something that Lucas actually wrote over 45 years ago but has waited until now when he thought that special effects technology was finally up to par with his vision."